We have fallen in love with the book ‘The Five Love Languages of Children’ by Gary Chapman, PhD and Ross Campbell, MD. The book describes 5 languages that help any parent or guardian guide and respond to children’s needs in an appropriate way. The book also suggests that children have a primary love language that they respond to best. These universal “love languages” are versatile and can be applied to your customers and small businesses in general. Surprisingly, Dr. Chapman has not written a book applicable to small businesses, but he should!
Starting a small business can be difficult and challenging at first. Understanding the fundamentals of good business and interacting well with prospects and customers are key for long-term success. Whether you are running a small family-owned grocery store or a major corporation, any business can learn and practice these five love languages.
1. The first language is “touch”. We interpret this language as being able to “touch” your customers. It means: to know what your customers need, you must first get to know them on a personal level, if possible.
You can do this by phone, Skype or a face to face meeting. What are their challenges and issues? What sort of individual are they? Once you strive to understand them better, you can start to imagine how receptive they are to the language of “touch.”
2. This brings us to the second language, “words matter”. Knowing how to approach and talk to your clients will sharpen your interpersonal communication skills. Having a lot of interaction with various personalities and opinions will open up new doors of opportunity.
When you communicate with your prospects and customers, words of affirmation are important. Especially in difficult situations, you must keep the conversation positive and constructive. Use words such as “…and…” rather than “…but…” in conversations. And of course, don’t take small successes for granted. Customers are people and they like positive affirmation. Challenges and issues will occur inevitably when working together, so keeping language positive and constructive is key to building a strong relationship. Negative verbal or written interactions can set the relationship back immeasurably.
3. The third language is “quality time”. Make sure to take time to have strategic conversations with your customers. It is important to not take for granted their ongoing challenges and concerns. Take the time to schedule meetings on a regular basis to understand where your relationship stands. This is also an opportunity to fortify the relationship.
Please make spending quality time something you and your customers look forward to, and not as a chore. You can start to understand how your customers think, what motivates them and drives their ambitions.
With quality time your customers will learn about your business as well. The more they know about your plans, the more they can help you succeed. The next two languages can be “spoken” by your customers in return for quality time.
4. The fourth language is the act of “giving gifts”. When you get to know your customers, there will be a point where gift giving can help to strengthen your bond. You should not give gifts just because “you have to”, as these can be seen as not genuine, or at worse as bribes.
Giving gifts is something that requires you to know your customers fairly well. You will need to know their interests and hobbies, if they have any. When buying a gift for someone for the first time, we recommend that you do not buy anything too expensive or extravagant. This will give off signals of desperation and come off as trying too hard to impress. Feel free to explore your options and choose the gift that you feel comfortable with.
Gifts on their own without the accompaniment of another love language usually takes on the appearance of a bribe. This is not the intent at all, so you should combine gifts with at least one other language. Gifts are not always physical objects and can be abstract and cost nothing at all.
5. The fifth and final language is “professional acts of service”. This is the culmination of all other languages in the world of business. Providing consistent and honest service to your customers will bring in continuous business.
You must also know how to handle difficult customers as well with acts of service. Training and teaching best practices is an act of service. Helping your customers learn collaboration and prioritization skills is also an act of service. Acts of service can also prove helpful when there is miscommunication or when issues arise. Usually acts of service take the form of “going above and beyond.” When an issue occurs, instead of talking about it, sometimes it is best to perform an act of service.
In situations when there is no way to solve an issue, the ultimate act of service is to separate your business relationship. Believe it or not, sometimes your business and customer do not have a fit, and the best act of service is to go your separate ways.
How you choose to act around your customers will determine their responses. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how to treat your customers. You may find a preferred love language for a customer and it is wise to speak that language with them during your relationship.
These languages are guidelines for business owners and for their customers. When you understand, can interpret and practice these languages, your customers should react in a positive manner. To recap:
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Make sure to know where your customers are coming from. Use a personal “touch.”
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Know how to approach and engage your customers verbally and in writing. Use words of affirmation.
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Spend quality time with your customers and get to know them on a deeper level.
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Remember to give an appropriate gift to remind your customers you care, especially when you know them well.
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Do acts of service especially in difficult situations. Instead of talking, act with service in mind.
